fall bound

My lack of sleep has also hindered my ability to write anything that makes sense. As much as I’ve tried to verbalize this thought, all I get is a random collection of words that sounds more awkward than usual, if at all possible. I'm enraged about a situation without solution. If I was presented with this dilemma, I will give my usual "Si tu mal no tiene cura, por que te apuras? Y si tiene cura, por que the apuras?" but since I'm the one with the predicament, It's harder to apply my own wise philosophy. Strangely enough, My life is the simplest it has been in a really long time. Maybe that's it! Maybe the deficiency of excitement in my life is throwing me off. (By excitement, I mean endless worries, deadlines, appointments, thoughts of giving it all up, then realizing that’s not even an option.) I guess this scarcity has sent me into a state of wanting to suffer, obsess and talk endlessly about trivial things. I apologize. It has gotten to the point that I’ve found myself feeling glad about returning to my school year monotonous routines. That alone is pretty alarming.

untitled

So just when I was ready to write this summer off as a waste of my free time, I am confronted with a whole new way of looking at the world. I learned more about myself this past weekend than in the seven collective years. I feel so liberated. And even though I still don’t believe it fully, I think I soon will.

Morpheus is Out to Get Me

I am convinced that he truly is! …..... Lately, I have been having these sleep spells, not just your normal sleepiness but an irrepressible urge to just sleep. I have given in to some of it, but now it is just annoying. Not only because of all the things I’m potentially missing while I’m asleep, but because I am also remembering my dreams more often and to be perfectly honest, sometimes it’s better not to know what’s going on in my subconscious. I’ve been having dreams about my most trivial fears and desires :: cringe::

I wanna be awake and enjoy the few summer days I have left but I guess my arbitrary sleep lord has other plans for me. Hmmmm,,,,maybe I should start power-napping. I read this article that gave tips on how to power-nap effectively. It suggested to have a napping partner, and to nap in a safe place (hmmm..) for 20 minutes no later than 3:00pm, so it wouldn’t interfere with night sleep. As I read it I couldn’t help to think of how much I would have to trust someone to let them be my ”napping lookout” and watch me sleep. The article also mentions a company, metronaps, in the empire state building that rents out napping pods for $14 a nap. I mean, what didn’t I think of this and become rich? They also offer office installations. I mean it’s not such a bad idea considering that according to studies, those who nap briefly tend to be more productive, alert and have better memory. Which explains a lot about most of the sleep-deprived people I know.

::YAWN:: there’s Morpheus again, I’m off to bed since I’m starting to not make sense again…..

MDL

9,861 days and 17 hours

"Today is my birthday, And I get one every year, And some day...Hard to believe, But I'll be buried six feet underground"

Today I am 9,862 days old. Having a birthday always makes me see life through this bizarre lens of irrational fears and failed attempts. I usually need stop and change the filter, adjust the f-stop and change from auto-focus to manual. Finally, I crop, enlarge, dodge and burn. Then and only then I can see a more accurate version of my life. I have a lot to be grateful for. I have family, health, a great friend, a job I love, and an exceptional kid. (All I need is money and a boyfriend…. he, he) Not to say that there aren’t a whole lot of things I need to work on, but I guess I’m just counting my “blessings”.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is my very dear friend's birthday, she turns 27 today. Yes, that’s right, she’s 2 days older than I am and that makes her lame...he he... no but really this event deserves a post because I feel really bad that everyone around her but me threw some kind of party or cut a cake or whatever for her and I didn’t or wasn’t even included. The thing is, I figured that we would go out this weekend and anticipated giving her gift then, but whatever, because now my gift is gonna seem late.

Now, the reason I feel awful is because we consider each other best friends. Even though that sounds juvenile, we really are. I love her like a sister, and she’s always there for me. In fact is that I consider her part of my family. She has taken this sister job a little too far at times, [she called my dad on his birthday before any of his own children did. And of course my dad doesn’t miss a chance to rub this in my face . Thanks Nao that’s really what I need, one more person to be compared to in my family. just kidding :-)] but that’s ok I lover her anyway.

The fact is NAO I wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY and tell you it’s really good to have you and your kids in my life.


MDL

Ughh! We need to stop all this touchy-feeling stuff, seriously, it’s getting out of hand.

birthday wish list

So my birthday is this Wednesday and since everyone else is working I'll have to wait until Saturday to celebrate. OK attention everyone, this is the official MDL birthday wish list, get pen and paper and a get ready to hit the stores since there's really only one day left:

1. A pony (ha ha... not really )
2. School supplies ( no ..seriously)
3. Tuition money (I’m not joking)
4. A Toyota Matrix (silver please, hey i need wheels to get around, he he)
5. An internet connection (again, dead serious)
6. Chocolate (his shouldn’t even on the list)
7. Marble composition notebooks, I’m almost out (where else would I write my unpublished blog entries)
8. Another memory card (the one I have keeps filling up, he he)

OK now the really important stuff:

9. Good times with old friends and hopefully new ones
10. More time ( I’ll put it in my top drawer and save it for the fall when I’ll have none)
11. Health

you're NAO, I'm a chicken..... but you're a turkey he he

No flowers please I really hate them they’re dead and need to be put into water that will eventually reek (what’s the point).

Mdl

ola de calor

It’s amazing how new Yorkers can manage to freak out about something as trivial as the weather. Yes it’s hot, but that’s part of what some of us like to call SUMMER. I watched the news this morning for about 10 minutes and apparently the rest of the world the world has stopped. There is nothing else going on but the heat wave in NYC. I understand that 110 heat index is pretty uncommon to us and it’s noteworthy, but aren’t we blowing this a little out of proportion. I have had trouble walking to school and getting there awfully sweaty, but that’s expected.

I am not generally one to complain about the heat. I don't even own an ac and so far I’ve been ok. On the first two days of this infernal weather, I slept through the night (or whatever that means in my case) and managed to stay relatively cool. I grew up in a tropical country where there were several power outages a day. Duke on the other hand has lived his whole life (7 years) here in NY. Nevertheless he doesn’t complain much about the heat either. He was ok with his little fan circulating hot air around his room. Last night for some reason he wasn’t able to stand it. He walked into my room with his cheeks bright red and asked “mom, can we please go to tio’s house). Since he never asks for much I couldn’t say no.

I called my brother and his wife an told them I was taking them on their offer to let me throw a mattress on their livingroom floor. I grabbed my thin sultan Ikea mattress and two sheets and camped at Luis A.'s living room. I have to say, my brother is an absolute beast. His living room was a meet freezer. In the middle of the night I had to get up to turn the AC down a bit because Duke was trembling. He also has internet ( real internet) so I was able to upload a few pictures an to chat with some neglected friends. Needless to say, Duke slept until almost 10 this morning

I hope this passes soon, for Duke’s sake and so we can go back to hearing about other senseless news, but please no more heat wave stories.

Hot and sweaty reporting from apt. 7c this is 254 correspondent MDL.

EVERYTHING IS NOT GOING TO BE OK

“everything is not going to be OK” Duke spotted this sticker on a don't litter sign down the block from our apartment. (look closely right above the word PLEASE)
It seemed so appropriate at the moment...... I‘m always amazed by his ability to spot this kind of thing. When I asked him how he noticed it he simply said “I pay attention to details, I guess I’m not a big picture kind of guy” . These are the moments when I’m sure he’s 7 going on 28.

----Completely unrelated--------

So I had some time to think while shopping for school supplies at Staples. This fixation is merely masking something else that I am suppressing. I have no clue what it is yet but I feel like I need to do some serious introspection in order to release it. It’s not what I feared, but I can still feel the knot in my stomach.

I bought a photo magazine which seems to be interesting so far and gives me a few editing tips and I may buy a new lens.

I had some bizarre moments today that made have some junior high school flashbacks.

Two more classes and summer school is done. Can’t wait.

Two of my classmates are pregnant. One found out while in class today. It’s always fascinating to see someone’s initial reaction to something like that. It’s so confusing. I couldn’t tell whether she was excited, pissed or just shocked. She kept blurting things out that didn’t make much sense. I was “fortunate” enough to be the person sitting next to her therefore the first to find out. I know this is very serious to her but I could not help to laugh (internally) at how volatile human feelings are. Witnessing this also made me realize that I’m not as sure as I was.

I have completed my extensive study and the findings are conclusive. I won’t bore you with the data, but it all boils down to this:

“excessive amounts of Diet Pepsi DOES affect the central nervous system”

I got on a cab today and accidentally heard and arjonas song and I have to say that this man doesn’t seize to astonish me. The way he paints with lyrics makes me feel like I’m experiencing a dysfunctional relationship first hand……like there are penguins on my bed or that I am a four decade woman walking around naked and being admired by the love of my life. gotta love him for that.

Talking about beds I have a new mattress. My bed is so much taller now, which feels weird. It also looks wider, But I’ll analyze that later.

I want to publicly apologize for driving you nuts NAO, I know you’re there no matter what, but I abuse that privilege at times.

Happy Birthday Dad

Well I’ll end on that note.

-----------MDL---------------

PS: I have to say I’m a little disappointed on the lack of reaction.