vacation

I have been on vacation for a week and have done absolutely nothing. I did laundry today because my mom, who lives in my building, practically forced me to. I also went downtown with my little cousins. we walked around the village and times square for a bit and then came back home. that wasn't that bad they were actually pretty funny. well i guess today was the most productive of my vacation week. but to be completelyy honest i've been enjoying this not doing anything business. I have been getting out of bed just to sit on the couch or shower. I know it sounds terrible, but i havent done anything like this in like 10 years.... well 7 to be exact (since my son was born). He' independent enough now. anyway. this is it for now.

Train and Cable

I still haven't gone food shopping but I got my cable back and the strike is over. My Life is almost complete. All I need now is a blue prince that sweeps me off my feet to live happily ever after. (YEAH RIGHT). anyway for now i'm happy cause i'll be able to see law and order and NY1. I missed pat kiernan so much. anyway the not so good part is that I still gotta work tomorrow but it's ok cause i'll have 1 week off and I need it soooo much. I just came back from a holiday staff party which i thought was gonna be lame but it was pretty ok instead. I only had a couple of drinks and only because I was feeling happy, following the very useful advice from anonymous . I decided i wont be sad unecessarily and that if i have an oportunity to have fun i will absolutely take it. The party probably because i didnt know most of the people there and because my very best friend in the world was there ( yes you, I know you're reading this).

bye for now.

MDL

mike's stain

TEACHER: ok boys and girls this game is called "what's that on Mr. M's shirt"

STUDENTS: EEEEWWWW! what's that? I don't wanna play anymore.

my compusaurus

my compusaurus
Originally uploaded by vodkandietcoke.

ok my compusaurus has been acting up again. I REALLY need a new computer but that's what happens when you choose a less lucrative profession. I love what I do but i can barely afford to be alive. anyway, I need to complain about this because besides the fact that there's no food in my house( i havent bought any because everything at the grocery store is loaded with carbs and i cant bring myself to do some real food shopping at the big supermarket) , I have no cable (thanx to my dick little brother that forgot to play the cable bill) so guess what? there's no phone, or internet either. I'm connected with a wireless connection that keeps fading. anyway i'll stop now hopefully the next post will bring good news.

This concludes another bitching session.

thanx for reading.

Transit strike

ok I just woke up to the wonderful news. We have a transit strike! well while my solidarity for my brothers and sister unionites is very strong, i'm really pissed for one reason: I still have to work. there wont be any students until 10:30am yet i have to be there at 8:30am. sux. Anyway it's not that bad for me since i live in the same borrough i work and i can cab it for today, but i hope this strike doesnt last too long cause i dont have that much cab money. Anyway, i have to get going now since it's 7:12 and It's gonna take me way longer thsan usual to get there.

bye for now

breakin up

Sucks big time. I don't know why I feel so crappy. I wanted this torture to end and I finally got my wish. I think what bothers me the most is that he broke it off. That I didn't get the satisfaction of saying "this is not working and I want to break up with you". He was a coward about it and didn't call for four months. But the hardest thing is that during those four months I didn't miss him at all. I felt relieved that he wasn't there anymore. Then, as soon as he calls I start feeling insecure and blaming myself for not being interesting enough or pretty enough or skinny enough or white enough (he's going out with a white girl now). Anyway I'm just ranting about shit that doesn't matter anymore. I'm relieved that it's over but I'm mad at myself for not breaking up with him in august when I wrote the break up email.
I just erased him from my buddy list, from my cellphone, from my speed dial, from my address book,I ripped the letter O from my phonebook (luckily I don't know anyone else with the letter O).

don't get me wrong we're not enemies or anything. We actually broke up on good terms. But the truth is that I don't really want to speak to him for some time. When I talk to him I realize that we were friends above all and that he loved me in his own twisted ways. Which makes it harder for me to hate him. And then I start confusing sympathy and likenesses with actual affection. Our post break up sex was great and wild but in reality it's not a good idea to see each other. We're too used to each other.

this post is extra long because I don't wanna write about him or make him the subject of my daily thoughts anymore. Just like I'm erasing him from all my address books and buddy lists I wanna close this chapter and move on to dating hot guys. Hell after all I'm only 26 (yes I'm getting old). But at least let me pretend I'm young.

anyway goodbye for now.

Nails done

nails done
Originally uploaded by vodkandietcoke.

so I did my nails, hair and eyebrows. It's part of my break up ritual. I have to compensate for feeling like she*t on the inside so I try to make it all better on the outside. The lady from the nail place thought I had moved from the neighborhood. The last time I was there was in the beginning of the summer. I feel good now though. As I type this I look at my nails and I feel beautiful. sux to break up but sux even more to be in a self-destructive relationship. I think I'll go have another crying session listening to alanis morissette and third eye blind. Crying always makes me feel better. Buy now let me get the box of Kleenex. [sniffles]

me

me
Originally uploaded by vodkandietcoke.

this is a picture of me --- for ur own protection u shouldnt see my face

My very first post

I am so excited this is my very first blog and it's my very first post. Really I need a hobby desperately. Someone please suggest a hobby . Anyway I am coming out of a long term relationship and I feel like I was mummified for five years and I just woke up. I just realized I don't even know how to chat on line. I had a 3 hour conversation with a very nice stranger today. I am soooo confused about my life. Anyway. More to come later.