It just dawned on me that life really sucks and there's nothing I can do about it.
I’m also convinced that I should give up all my pipe dreams and be conventional, more of a conformist, predictable, unadventurous….and maybe then, and only then I will be happy.
I should abandon my abstract art fantasies and concentrate on my thesis and live up to my potential for once.
Once again, I decided to look for what wasnt really there. I crossed the line and broke golden rules and of course , once again fell hard from the cloud right on my ass. I did this one to myself though, so I'm more upset at "me" than anyone/thing else. At the same time, I'm really glad I didn’t finish seeing that fucking movie, because at least wasn’t on a higher cloud. (Although I am upset I bought the perfume)… well anyway, my week has sucked all around. After the self-esteem blow in Ms. C’s classroom, I had to know that it was all down hill from there.
Just to throw me off, and think that things might be looking up, I did well in both my linguistics and thesis my presentations. I was content enough to believe that maybe this week was gonna end up ok. But, NO….. I have to be slapped in the face with a cold and a bad case of disappointment.
It’s not that I expected much, it was the way it was so impersonal. Maybe I was mistaken, maybe I’m not….it doesn’t really matter much now I guess.
Well anyway, I’m looking forward to Friday….I have no clue why. It’s not there are study sessions or anything, but I guess I’m glad I’m gonna have the option to be away from everyone.
Bye for now
mdl
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2 comments:
You will never be a sell out, therefore you will never change who you are...That's the beauty about you, you are original, straight to the point and never predictable. So, you are telling that selling out to a convential lifestyle is the way to go? Then, who you would be lying and hurting then? If is there's nothing outthere, at least be happy with all you got! You, the entire you and that's a lot. Because at the end of the day, its only about who we are and we want....the rest is just shit!
you remind me of my sister :o with the art and all.. just one thing to say to you. dont give up :)
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