100th post

So blogger says this is my my 100th post, I haven't counted them twice yet to verify but I'll believe it. I think in some kind of weird way it makes sense and it must be the cosmos aligning to commemorate the anniversary of the largest manifestation of my life-long battle with procrastination. So here it goes:

I have discovered netflix and I am catching up with tons of stuff I haven't watched. Sketches of Frank Gehry was the first family film, since Duke and I missed it in the theaters. I just finished watching it and I have to confess I was able to relate a lot more than I actually expected. The documentary starts out by Frank talking about how starting is never easy. He describes a process that involves "avoidance, delay and denial"... and for a second there I felt attacked, as if Gehry would choose me as the topic of his documentary. Then he says "I'm always scared that I'm not gonna know what to do...It's a terrifying moment." And there it is: add a little self-sabotage to this statement and you have an explanation to why I haven't completed my thesis yet. Yes, my thesis. That thing that was due last December and has slept with me, gone on dates with me, traveled with me and has been staring at me from my bedroom wall for the past 9 months. I can't understand why I can't just end this torture. In the end "it's just another paper", as Jeanne says. But my ego won't let me just through something together and hand it in like the rest of my cohort did. I have to add just a little more, find better sources, revise it once more, take it apart, change it all together, maybe change the topic... no wait a minute... I love that topic...

And there's always that voice that keeps saying "just finish it already!!...it's not that big a deal" But it is, at least to me. I wanna be able to hand in something extraordinary, especially after having a whole year to complete it. Or maybe at this point, just completing it would be extraordinary..... I don't know.....

But watching Frank Gehry got me thinking about the way I've lived life in the past decade. Someone recently asked if I felt satisfied with my career choice. I was surprised that I answered with such certainty.... no hesitation at all "Yes, absolutely".... I guess I was surprised because I never actually heard myself say it aloud and fully mean it. I admire Gehry's guts for challenging the way people look at architecture. I can't say I feel compelled to do the same for for my profession, because then I would end up another cliche; or worse, a lifetime movie; or even worse, a Ron Clark. Don't get me wrong, I am not as naive as I used to be in fall 2004, when I thought I could change the world 25 kids at a time. I now know I can... I just need a focused plan to do actually it.

So going back to this being my 100th post and marking some kind of milestone... I think I'm just gonna look at it as the post after #99... that way there's no pressure to finish it and I can actually post it tonight.

Sept 8th

Last night I met up with some friends from a past life, just to realize that I like some people better in the memories I have of them. After a few drinks in a bar so up north that Broadway was almost south again, we headed downtown to Astor to see our beloved Alamo. But in a sudden change of plans we decided to walk to Union Square to reminisce about idealistic philosophies, useless protests and about joining movements for the wrong reasons. There were some expressed feelings of regret, but none from me: I’d make each and every mistake all over again.

We watched the baton ballet girls all dressed in black and dancing with fire; and the random skaters grinding and flipping their skateboards with enviable grace. I was glad to see that despite all the glass and big names, Union Square is still a free non-judgmental place to hang. There was a group of sexually disoriented teenagers, a vigorous smoker, a few homeless people, a girl coming from a Spanish Rock concert where she lost her cellphone and hundreds of other people that only stayed for a few minutes. At about 3am a group of South American guys in their thirties sat near us with a guitar full of old song fragments. I sang from my subconscious sad songs about other people’s past sufferings and I felt relieved. We made friends with the bohemian group and found out they were really from New Jersey and were waiting to get rid of the alcohol in the designated driver’s system. When it was nearly 5am I called it a night and came home to sleep. It was a nice night, the only thing that was missing was my rebel to document it all. If it wasn’t for the gum on my pants I’d think it was a dream.

FALLing into place

Fall is upon us, YAY!!!!

I know I haven’t posted anything in a long time, but to be completely honest I don’t even want to think about the last couple of days of my trip. As most of you already know I’m still mourning about my Rebel. The trip as a whole was great. I learned a lot of the education system in the Dominican Republic, people and poverty. Much of it I knew already, but it was different actually witnessing it first hand. Being able to rest away from my life and the sources of stress that come with it was also wonderful. I highly recommend taking 2 months off in a foreign country; then again not everyone is a teacher :-).

But that was summer and now is back to reality. Going back to work relaxed and refreshed is nice, but I’ll be stressed again in no time. Thank goodness for winter and spring breaks and the occasional long weekend :-P

I will upload more pictures soon, of course minus the 500 that were still in my memory card.

mdl

Hurricane Dean

Hurricane Dean is passing through the caribbean. It already hit Matinique and Dominica. These islands are located south east of the Domincan Republic. The map above shows where the hurricane is as I write this. As you can see the whole island is covered by it. I am near the north coast and it´s not expected to hit here too badly, but the rain and the wind sure feels like a hurricane is nearby. It´s supposed to be headed for Jamaica and then the gulf of Mexico. Hurricanes make me nervous but I also find them fascinating. It doesn´t help that duke is now obsessed with them. I was born during hurricane David in 1979 and it was one of deadliest for the the island. Every hurricane season people of my parents generation and older have David flashbacks.

Well for now I am stranded because the rain has been non-stop. I was supposed to go to Altos de Chavon on the southern coast today or tomorrow, but that won´t be happening. I´m back to being bored.

mdl

postcards

trying to mail postcards from a country with a mail system that is nearly non-existent can be frustrating, but not as frustrating as buying decent postcards to send :-)

14 days

Two weeks from today I will be back home...frankly, I wish it was a little sooner... duke and I are both a little sick of being here. The experience as a whole has been great but I miss my life. I miss my friends, my family, speaking english or spanglish... I miss salad dressing and organized public transportation...my apartment, my air conditioner, my microwave and my bed. I know 2 weeks is not much, but it seems like an eternity :-)

mdl

Birthday

It´s that time of the year again.... as I turn 28 today I don´t feel any older, just wiser(hopefully). I am pretty happy with my life, all things considered. I have wonderful friends, a supportive family, a great kid, health and a job. I can´t ask for much more. My only wish is to continue to enjoy this extended vacation and to be able to readjust to my reality when I get back :-).

mdl

ps: gifts will be accepted after the 26th when I get back, if not digital life is coming up in late september...he he

update

more pictures uploaded to flickr
-------------------------------------------------------
I´ve been here for about a month and I already feel like a local again. I can ride public cars, go grocery shopping and travel to other cities by without assistence. Even though I am from here, I left Santiago when I was 11 almost 17 years ago, so I´ve had to pretty much relearn everything. I am really glad I decided to go on this trip. I feel relaxed, rested and energized, but not quite ready to return to my normal life...he he ... but it´s ok, I still have about another month before I that happens.

I should be tired and not relaxed since I´ve hardly been home lately. Between volunteering on weekday mornings and traveling on afternoons and weekends, I have time only to sleep and watch the occasional local news and law and order.

I recently visited my dad´s hometown of Restauracion (his very own Tangamandapio). I´ve also been to the beach and a bunch of cities around the northern region of the island including Puerto Plata, Santiago Rodriguez, Mao, San Francisco de Macoris, Santo Domingo, dajabon, Monte Cristi, Loma de Cabrera and a few campos here and there. I also went to the border with Haiti while I was in Dajabon, it was both interesting and depressing. Unfortunately I havent been able to upload all the pictures I have taken because the internet service is a little choppy.

I also went to "Camp David" a restaurant and hotel complex located just outside Santiago and over 6,500 feet above sea level. The view is amazing from there and the food was delicious. The restaurant also holds a collection of Trujillo memorabilia and some of his cars.

I am planning the tour near the south coast for the next couple of weeks.... pictures will come soon after.

mdl

Mcgyver

I met a graphic designer named McGyver (pronounced Mah-ghee-ver). He´s pretty crafty in photoshop, I watched him design a logo in less than an hour. He also likes to paint and watch indian movies in his spare time. I took this picture in his backyard, but he wouldn´t let me photograph him. He´s related to duke in some way so I´m not gonna say anything negative about him...he he

Day nine

I spent much of today at my surrogate family’s house. They are as hospitable as it gets. Since I got here Yolanda has not let a day go by without feeding us in some form. It’s impossible to say no to her, so yesterday I devised a plan and escaped before lunch. Duke and I went to the shopping district to pick up some essentials from ¨El Encanto¨, the local department store. I have to say shopping is my least favorite part of this trip. For starters, I have to pay with local money that feels like playing monopoly, I also have to do all the conversions to dollars in my head to make sure I’m not overpaying for stuff, lastly I have to choose between speaking to Duke in English and have everyone stare at us or speak Spanish and have everyone stare at me anyway because our Spanish doesn’t sound local enough.

Anyway, it rained non-stop today and we had to camp out in the apartment. Luckily we had snacks and stuff to drink. The water here is really bad so my crystal light is useless until I buy water.

The school still hasn’t called me back about the job. It’s very likely that I won’t start until next week. With the general strike and riots on Monday, I’d rather lay low anyway. It was a little scary because a couple of people were killed, although not much happened in my neighborhood.

To answer the question posted by ¨anonymous¨ on my last post:

I do miss New York, this is an adventure for me… and like every other adventure, it must be temporary for it to keep its enjoyable qualities. I am not sick of being here yet, but should that happen, I have a couple of contingency plans lined up.

some new flickr uploads....more to come soon

www.flickr.com/photos/nycmiri

lost my phone

****UPDATE****************************************
I found my phone...well, my brother-in-law did. I left it on a bench in the park and it was still there about six hours later. This is almost impossible, but then again, it´s one of those things that only happen to me :-)
*****************************************************

This must be some kind of new record. I have been here for less than 72 hours and managed to lose my cellphone. If you received a text message from me, please discard that number until further notice. The worst part is that I can´t even report it lost until my brother-in-law gets back from work.

once again incomunicada

mdl

Day 2

Today I finally found out the grade level I will be teaching. I start this Friday teaching 3rd graders reading and writing skills.

I also went to mass for the ¨nueve dias¨ (nine days of mourning) of my mom´s cousin. Going to church is always interesting to me, but going to the church I went to as a kid was a little strange. Everything looks exactly the same way it did 16 years ago when I left. Even the sermon seemed familiar.

I also visited the house in which I grew up, it seemed so small and narrow. In fact the whole neighborhood seems small. The poverty is also palpable here. The wooden houses seem to be falling apart and some of the streets are not even paved. Despite all this, people seem happy.

The internet cafe is in the lower level of my building, which is great!! It is also dirt cheap... It costs about 60 cents to go online for an hour. It´s high speed and the computers are all equiped with webcams and headsets. But internet and food are about the only things that are cheap here. Gas prices don´t even come close to U.S. prices. One gallon of regular costs about 150 pesos at the gas station around the corner from me. A the current exchange rate, that is about 5 U.S. dollars. I´m kinda glad I don´t drive when i see that :-).

Duke is so happy to have freedom and lots of kids to play with. He´s still having trouble with his Spanish, but he´s trying; otherwise he can´t ommunicate with the other kids.

The heat was not as horrible today.... or maybe I´m just getting used to it. I also saw stars tonight, I´m such a New Yorker...I know.

Well, that´s all for now..... flickr uploads soon to come.

MDL

day one....

• arrived in the airport at noon
• brother-in-law drove me home
• apartment is smaller than I expected, but large enough to crash in
• visited tons of people...only really remember a handful
• went to see the school where I would be working
• took a nice afternoon nap
• went to visit grandpa...dog annoying but cute
• went to the internet cafe to get in touch with the rest of the world
• now there´s not much to do here but to go to bed
• currently working on a daily schedule

.......

Hoy me marcho. Voy a de vuelta a mi tierra del olvido, porque me rehúso a pasar otro verano en estado vegetativo, viendo la tele y subiendo de peso. Pero me voy desconcertada, confundida…. Repasando todas las cosas que pude haber hecho. Repasando todos los momentos, palabras, gestos, acciones o lo que deje de hacer. Mi instinto, como siempre, me dice a gritos que lo mas seguro es que fue mi culpa. Que tuvo que ser algo que yo hice o deje de hacer. Pero, por primera vez en mi vida le tengo que llevar la contraria a mi instinto, porque la mitad de los hechos no están disponibles. Y no importa que imparcial mi instinto sea, es difícil juzgar con solo la mitad de la evidencia. No me arrepiento de nada, y al diablo con las cosas que pude haber hecho o dejar de hacer. Por mas que estudio las 133 posibles razones del cambio que mi instinto me redacta, no encuentro una que tenga sentido o remedio. Lo único que siento es que a todo esto, aun no se donde estoy o estuve parada. Pero que no panda el cúnico, como diría el Chapulín, ya tendré muchas noches calladas, aburridas y estrelladas para pensar y repasar…. y analizar.

Espero que las próximas siete semanas me sirvan de descanso. Pero mas que eso, espero usar este tiempo fuera de mi propia vida para hacer una revisión introspectiva y ver las cosas como lo que son. Necesito reenfocar mis logros y mis metas, también recalibrar mis sueños e ideales. Temo que si no hago esto pronto voy a terminar como muchas personas a mi alrededor, que viven amargadas y hartas de su propia vida. En realidad no hay nada de malo con vida en este momento. Este viaje no es mas que una medida preventiva. No me importa que esto suene cursi, porque al fin y al cabo muy pocas personas entenderán lo digo. No solo por la barrera del idioma sino por el contenido de lo que escribo.

Bueno, en esa nota me despido por ahora. La próxima vez que escriba será desde mi isla.

MDL

No internet

I canceled my Cablevision services for the summer, so as of this moment I am signing off...

T minus 162 hours.....

A week from today I will be visiting the homeland [well at least my homeland :-)] for about 7 weeks. I’ve wanted to do this trip for a while now, but it only became a concrete plan about a year ago. My vision is to have a complete change of environment in a somewhat familiar place, where I sort of know people but they don’t know much about me. My home barrio of Nibaje seemed like the perfect place for this. I used my connections in the island to rent an apartment for the time I’ll be there. I will be arriving in the Santiago airport a week from today. I am both excited and nervous about this trip, and in light of recent news about a relative there, also sad.

There will be a humanitarian component to this trip as well, because the altruist in me can’t pass up the opportunity to give back. I will be volunteering part-time in an elementary school while I’m there. I attended this school for about a year as a kid but have very little memories from that time. I’m looking forward to learning different approaches to the ones I use here.

I’m also looking forward to revisiting childhood memories and sharing them with Duke. I am also a little anxious and scared that I have over-romanticized this trip. I’m afraid once I arrived there and compare my fantasy to reality I would be miserable or disappointed, but that’s just a small fear. After all, it’s bad experiences that make great future stories. I am armed with mosquito repellent, a first aid kit, and my rebel….seriously, what could possibly go wrong? I’ll also have internet access so I’ll be posting frequent updates and uploading pictures to my flickr page, so stay tuned.

mdl

mixed_message

mixed_messege
Originally uploaded by NYCmiri

i got this brochure in a health fair at work today, accompanied by an NYC condom. Hows that for mixed messages?

mdl

being part of history

Last summer Duke interviewed me at the storycorps booth in the WTC station. I received this certificate today telling me that my conversation has been added to the collection at the library of congress. I guess this means we are part of history now :-)

mdl

validation

Today the scores for the New York City Math third grade exam came in and once again my existence has been validated. Duke scored a four (meaning he exceeded the standards). Although knowledge itself should be a reward enough, I'm still buying him something nice, deserves it :-)

mdl